Thursday, May 31, 2012

Smiling in love


Am I in love? YES, I AM.
He doesn't know it, I mean, we've just met.
But somehow, this is different. To be honest, this is the first time
I can say: yes, I'm in love with someone.
I liked singers, actors, or whatever, but no one of them were real.
I've never talked to him, but we find our eyes all the time.
It's crazy, I feel happier than before.
And something amazing: I'M SMILING AGAIN.
I don't know if something will happen, but the feeling of
start to live my life again, smiling, being nice and kind is wondeful.


L.S.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My scars

It's hard to believe that 3 months ago I was a normal girl.
But now, I don't feel like I'm one of them.
My friends say that I'm kinda "bipolar" and it's weird that I have suicide ideas, but I am who I am and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna do something crazy...
So, I'm a freak, I use different clothes, I cut my own hair and I paint it like I want, WHO-THE-HELL-CARES?
I don't do what most of people do, so am I wrong or just have an own opinion?
Think about it.


This is what I use to make me feel happy and free.
Call me crazy, but this little thing is my happiness...


It's really hard to put this in the blog, cause this is kinda personal,
but I'm feeling so bad and I need to share it with people that I don't know
I mean, strangers, I know they never judge me cause they don't know me.
This is my arm. this is my blood, this is what I've done to myself and this is why I'm happy.

Don't judge me, I'm just a human...

L.S.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

We all are so FUCKING PERFECT


This video remembers me my own life.
Hope you like it.
And by the way...  I'M FUCKING PERFECT, YOU TOO.

L.S.

Holding the blade again

Well.. I'm back after a few days of nothing.
Last monday was my birthday and I felt very happy (kinda weird in me).
After it, everything changed again, and I hold the blade again.
I though I could stop cutting me, but I couldn't.
I started to cut other parts of my body and not only the arm.
My chest, waist, and legs.
Why do you think? Am I crazy?
I looked for information about self-harm and I found that THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM AND FAULT OF PERSONALITY...
What the fuck? I mean... I'm not crazy. I have a problem, yes, but I'm not insane like a lot of people think. An I think I have the enough personality to be myself against everything (I did crazy things, cut my hair by myself, paint it and use different clothes, that's why people say I'm crazy, STUPID RIGHT?).
I'm thinking in telling this to my best friend. He's is one of the most important people to me, and my other best friend too. But somehow I think that she wouldn't understand.
Finally I wanna say that if you ever felt this, if you ever though about suicide, if you ever though about cut yourself and if you ever felt alone with nobody to talk... I UNDESTAND YOU.
Send me an e-mail (like-ahell@hotmail.com) if you need somebody to talk or need any advise.
Love yourself, love life, and don't be like me...
Wish you an amazing life.

L.S.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Burning hell


I'm gonna kill somebody. I choose myself.
Voy a matar a alguien. Me elijo a mi.
L.S.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Give your heart a break


Cause you've been hurt before, I can see it in your eyes...
L.S.

Smile to yourself

A smile can change everything
Una sonrisa puede cambiarlo todo


Even in the sad days, somebody would make the difference
Aun en los malos días, alguien podría hacer la diferencia


So, smile to the world, cause the world will always smile to you.
Encontes, sonriele al mundo, porque el mundo siempre te va a sonreir.


BE HAPPY
SE FELIZ

L.S.




Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Bleeding hate



I told that I'll use this blog like a diary.
Today was a bad day. I don't know why but I felt really bad at school. Everyone were asking me if I was ok, I wasn't but I couldn't tell anything.
The break. I went into the bathroom. I closed the door, and took my pencil-sharpener out of my pocket. I took that little blade and I did it. YES I DID IT. A lot of girls in the bathroom but no one knew what really happened there.
I went out and with a paper in my arm I cleaned the blood.
I came back to my class alone, in silence and looking at all the people that can show their arms, feeling so bad because I can't.
It was the best moment in the whole morning.
L.S.

Les dije que iba a usar este blog como un diario.
Hoy fue un mal día. No se por qué pero me senti muy mal en la escuela. Todos estaban preguntandome si yo estaba bien, no lo estaba pero no le podía decir a nadie.
El recreo. Fui al baño. Cerre la puerta, y saque el sacapuntas que tenía en mi bolsillo. Tome el filo del sacapuntas y lo hice. SI, LO HICE. Había muchas chicas en el baño, pero nadie sabía lo que estaba pasandome.
Salí de ahí y con un papel en mi brazo me limpie la sangre.
Volví a mi clase sola, en silencio y mirando a todas las personas allí, ellas pueden mostrar sus brazos, y me sentí muy mal porque yo no puedo.
Ese fue el mejor momento de toda la mañana.

L.S.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Music Geniuses






"May say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
"Dirás que soy un soñador, pero no soy el único."
                                                             -John Lennon.

L.S.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Somebody that I used to know


But you didn't have to CUT me off...
L.S.

The worst is in the deep


DON'T JUDGE ME, CAUSE YOU ONLY KNOW A LITTLE PART OF ME
NO ME JUZGES, PORQUE SOLO CONOCES UN PEQUEÑA PARTE DE MI
L.S.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Just me


Hey everyone in the world… I’m L.S. and I’m here to talk about everything I can’t talk with anyone else. I don’t expect you like it or something but it really helps me to find myself in words and know that maybe I’m not alone. This is about all my experiences, problems (you’ll know them) and ideas about society, egomaniacs, reality I have to live every day, and another things (be free to call me freak, everyone do it). Just hope you don’t judge me, I judge myself all the time so I think it’s enough with it.

Thanks for giving me the chance of show the real me.

L.S.



Hola a todos en el mundo… Soy L.S. y estoy acá para hablar de todo lo que no puedo hablar con nadie más. No espero que te guste o algo así, pero realmente me ayuda a encontrarme a mi misma en las palabras y sabes que tal vez no estoy sola. Esto es sobre mis experiencias, problemas (ya los conocerán) y mis ideas sobre la sociedad, egocéntricos, la realidad que tengo que vivir todos los días, y otras cosas (se libre de llamarme rara, muchos lo hacen). Solo espero que no me juzguen, lo hago yo misma todo el tiempo y creo que es suficiente.

Gracias por darme la oportunidad de mostrarme como soy.

L.S.

Keep trying to do it



But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried, 

I could not break free.
L.S.

My fisrt one

Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings,
thought I oughta tear the curtain down.
I held the blade in trembling hands
prepared to make it but
just then the phone rang
I never had the nerve to make
the final cut.


But sometimes we have to have the nerve
to make the most difficult and maybe the deepest cut
the first one...
L.S.